A secret that isn’t so secret, is that I hate endings.
Whether or not it has too many plot holes to count, a cliff hanger, or even a nice happily ever after with a bow on top, I’ll hate it.
When I finished a book series for the first time, my young, wide eyed self, went online to search up the next book.
I don’t even remember what series or who the author was-I just remember seeing the words ‘completed’.
I still have that wide eyed, crushingly innocent wonder in me. Where’s the next book? When will the season be renewed? Why did that artist stop drawing?
I realize that my thirst is a selfish, hungry beast. Endings are good, yet, sometimes if things extend their stay, they become ruined (Grey’s Anatomy, I’m looking at you-16 seasons? Really?)
I’ve noticed that instead of the beginning or end, I love the in-between. The journey, not the destination, is what I thrive on. I chase that high-it’s what made me interested in fandoms in the first place.
One of my first fandoms that I remember to this day was Yu-Gi-Oh (don’t laugh it’s a classic). Perhaps a poor example since today it continues to be a seemingly never ending phenomenon, I still wish there were more of the original 224 episodes (I told you I was a monster).
You see, nothing will be the same as those 224 episodes. Not the sequel series, not the card games, not fan art, fan-fiction, not even the fans. Yet, although it will not be the same, fandoms are what keeps the love for it alive.
Recently I’ve come across the conclusion that yes, I care too much about fictional characters and fictional scenarios.
I found this out after I truly grieved Tony Stark for six months. I took down all his memorabilia in my room and locked it in my closet, considered deactivating my Marvel fan account, and even wrote a nasty letter to the Russo brothers.
Tony Stark’s death was a true ending. To me, it felt like the ending of the MCU.
And yes, it was a ending, but also a new beginning.
Tony’s death opened the chance for Peter, Tony’s protege (and son figure, let’s be honest), to step toward as the new face of the MCU. It was a heartbreaking ending, but a beautiful new beginning.
What took me a whole blog to say, which could be said in a few words, is that endings aren’t really that bad. They open our eyes to new opportunities that we didn’t see before.
Although this lesson (which I must begrudgingly admit I'm still learning and appreciating) applies to the world of fandoms, it also applies to life.
Did Tony Stark indirectly help me understand that it’s okay my high school career is ending? Possibly. Or maybe I pulled a Lucifer and turned a lesson to myself and made it my own. Or maybe I’m just insane-we’ll find out one day.
Whether or not you enjoy endings, new beginnings or the in between, I hope that you'll come to love the journey on the way as much as I do.
And, to quote Eliot, ‘The end is just the beginning’.
Fin.